Faking it
by an unE1 st8
Summary: Ichigo is a children's author who is a womanizer wanting to get out writing Children's books Rukia is sent to assist him write his last books while he has to stay celibate for 6 months,but his new assistant is making it hard for him to maintain that. Allusions to sexuality and strong lang, no lemon. ON HIATUS.


I've been wanting to write something smutty after reading Shinjo Mayu's works, so thanks to her I'm writing my first M rated fic ever (now year and new adventures, eh?). If you want to check out her earlier mangas, they're sex comedies and are the main inspiration for this fic.

Sorry for the sucky summary, damn the character limits, well the plot should be made obvious from this chapter (I hope).

This fic is not betaread, so apologies in advance. If anyone interested in betaing for this M rated fic, PM me.

Warning- AU and OOC galore, rated M

Disclaimer- Tite Kubo owns Bleach.

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><p>An orange haired man walked with bored expression into the Society Publishing House tower, he was oblivious to all the women who swooned at seeing him. He was used to it, used to being scouted on the streets, women with boyfriends leaving their boyfriends behind to run after him.<p>

"So handsome" "Who is he?" "What a body" "Now that's a man", etc... these were the everyday phrases he heard whenever he went out, but they still didn't fail to boost his ego.

"Good Morning Kurosaki sama, I'll let Kisuke sama know that you are here." The receptionist was practically purring these words to him, she was accentuating her cleavage that her low cut bluse revealed by leaving over the desk more than necessary.

He leaned in closer to her, stoic Ichigo Kurosaki's hazel eyes bored into the women's grey ones, "You let him know that."

His deep and cold voice sent chills down her spine, like every woman she found his voice very sexy and a huge turn on. The release of his pheromones increased whenever he opened his mouth, the receptionist simply nodded her head maniacally, she would've nodded it all the same if he had demanded her to take her clothes off at the spot (which she'd have gladly obliged). He walked to the waiting area much to the disappointment of the receptionist.

Ten minutes later Ichigo Kurosaki was sitting in front of his editor Urahara Kisuke, a man in his 40s sitting comfortably in his leather chair, he was wearing a kimono and his long blond hair was kept secure under a striped hat.

"Let's get down to business Ichigo. I've taken the liberty to hire an assistant for you since you are so slow in making progress. She will help you with the drawings and any writer's block you may hit along the way. Though, I don't know how you can have a writer's block when writing picture books for children." He finished with a carefree sigh and throwing his hands up in the air.

_The bastard, children's books are the hardest to write, let him even attempt to write one. But that's not what I'm here for._ Ichigo diverted his attention from unnecessary thoughts onto the business at hand.

"But I told you I prefer to work alone, she's just going to be in my way, especially if she's a woman." Ichigo wasn't mad or irritated, instead he was wearing a bemused grin because he knew of his own potency, how the women found him irresistible, he didn't mind that part.

"Ichigo please, you refuse to have a male assistant and any female ones I've hired end up leaving because of their broken hearts. Please try not to let this one get away so soon." It was rare for Kisuke to plead, but Ichigo Kurosaki was a very famous children's author who brought in a lot of money to the publishing house. Kisuke couldn't really rebuke him for his actions (in bed with the women), only beg him. If the parents ever found out that the author of their children's favorite books was a sex fiend, they'd stop buying his books. Of course he knew that the personal life of an author didn't have any bearing on his work, but as a children's book author he had to fit a certain image and Kisuke's publishing house spent a lot of money maintaining that.

"It's not my fault that they expect more than sex from me, I tell them from the beginning I don't like clingy women. Also, you know if you'd let me get out of this damn contract and let me write about what I actually want, then you may not have to spend so much money to present my private life as innocent as the children who read my books." Ichigo just continued to smile, glad to know he was getting on Kisuke's nerves somehow.

"I know, but please try to stick with it, you only have one more year. Then you can write whatever you want after the contract expires." He still tried to reason with Ichigo and warn him about his antics in the public.

Ichigo sometimes did outrageous things on purpose like getting drunk on purpose at public events or flirting with married women, just so Kisuke would let him get out of his damn contract. He was so sick of writing for children, he sometimes felt he was a child himself, he wanted to write about he was truly passionate about.

"Sex, I want to write erotic novels, as you know that's where my talents lie. I can rewrite the Kama Sutra if given the chance." He concluded with an arrogant smile.

_I don't doubt that Ichigo, with the amount of women you've bedded._ Kisuke thought wryly. _Looks like I'm going to have to use my trump card now to make him behave._

Sighing as if tired with explaining to a child, Kisuke still went on but this time he was going to compromise. "We've been through this so many times. ...Ok, I've a proposition for you. If you promise to behave then I promise to terminate your contract six months earlier than it's supposed to be."

Ichigo's ears perked up at hearing those words, leaning in he asked in a very much interested tone, "What do I have to do?"

Was this really going to work on him, thought Kisuke. Finally maybe there was a way to control the wild horse. He began slowly, "All you have to do is write two more picture books. Now before you protest, that's the reason I've hired the assistant for you, all you have to make sure is not to get her into bed before the books are finished. You wouldn't want her to quit in the middle would you?"

Anger started to rise then abate slowly once Ichigo thought over it carefully, he'd be getting out of the contract that had him trussed for almost three miserable years. He'll have many sleepless nights for different reasons this time, but even if he has to pause his playboy lifestyle for six months and torture his body to finish two damn picture books, by golly he will do it. It will a lot better than to put up another whole year, slowly smirking, Ichigo got up to shake Kisuke's hands and told him to, "send the new girl by my place this afternoon."

Kisuke was so glad that it was over, he wouldn't have to babysit Ichigo for six months, though he was still worried about making this deal with one their best seller authors behind the higher ups. If they could live a day in his life, they would've already terminated Ichigo's contract, he'll have to convince his bosses somehow, but he'll cross that bridge when he came to it. For the moment he had to call the new assistant to tell her to go to Ichigo's house, then he'll pray that everything goes according to plan.

ooOOooOOoo

A young and very petite girl was fidgeting in front of her idol's house, well maybe not an idol but he was the person she looked upto, she wanted to learn from him so that one day she could also author a children's book. Not was he an inspiration for work, he was her ideal man. No other men did it for her, she wanted to lose her virginity to Kurosaki sama.

Mentally slapping herself for thinking so far ahead, after all she had 6 months to spend with him. Wanting to calm herself and concentrate on other things, she went over her outfit, if she looked presentable enough in her special edition Chappy hat on her head and the pink Chappy top. Even though it was so cold, she decided to wear no jacket because she wanted the top to be visible. Her work supplies were in order and all that was left was to put a Chappy approved smile on her face. Mustering up all the courage and murmuring a prayer to herself, she knocked on the door.

"Ah...ah...yes! Don't stop Kurosaki sama!" The woman was making noises like a porn star, but he decided to just concentrate on the feeling and not her screechy voice bother him. His thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Not now, who the fuck decided to knock on his door at the exact moment he so close to his climax, just a few more... The knocking became more insistent and louder that refused to be ignored. Growling, Ichigo got up to both the woman and his disappointment.

"You better be dressed and gone in five minutes." That's all Ichigo said to the pouting busty woman who was still sprawled on the bed leisurely, he threw her threatening glare before he walked out the room buttoning his shirt.

_I can't even have a last hurrah before I mark on a six month celibacy journey,_ the person who intruded (intentionally or not) on his last fuck will be sorely sorry.

He yanked the door open to a small girl who looked like she was lost. Still donning a frown on his face, he couldn't really take his anger out on the little girl, but he was still annoyed for being interrupted.

"Kid, I'm not interested in buying girl scout cookies." Turning around he kicked the door behind him to close it. He didn't realize the girl had entered right behind him.

"Hello Kurosaki sensei." She was smiling widely and her voice way too enthusiastic.

Ichigo turned around in shock to find the same girl in the hideous Chappy themed outfit, part of many that was inspired by the character he created and what made him a best seller author. It was a blessing and a curse.

"What the hell, who are you kid? Are you lost or did you run away from home to get my autograph?" He was getting annoyed more and more by the minute because of the Chappy outfit, it seemed to taunt him that he can never get away from his creation, he didn't control it anymore it was the other way around. How he hated the damn Chappy the rabbit, he swore in his last book he's going to have Chappy be murdered in the most hideous way possible so that no child would ever want to read it again.

"Kurosaki sensei, I'm Rukia Kuchiki, your new assistant." Smiling, she took off her hat and bowed to him in a greeting. When she stood straight up again with a smile still plastered on her face, she was facing an open mouthed orange haired man.

_'What the hell was that damn bastard thinking, sending me a Chappy obsessed fan, an eerily cheery one at that', _thought Ichigo.

"How old are you?" ichigo asked suspiciously, just to make sure that it wasn't a prank being played on him by some deranged fan.

Once she took off her hat, she actually looked a lot older because he could see her translucent white round face clearly. She had round and very violet eyes, he was becoming mesmerized slowly by them as she stared at him in awe and innocence.

"I'm 22 years old sensei. I'm a graduate in arts from the Karakura Arts college." Rukia innocently kept gazing at her idol, her inspiration, in marvel not believing she was so close to him. And on top of that he was a hunk, she knew he was young around 24 years old but she had never seen his pictures.

_'Ah...her face is so cute, especially the way she looks at me!_' Ichigo blushingly moved his hazel eyes to her mouth when she had spoken, oh god what sensuous pink and wet lips that were begging to be kissed. No, he's seen it all already.

_'I'm just overly conscious of her since she's going to be the only female I'll be in seeing for six months. I've seen beautiful woman before and with bigger chests, I'll just have to look at her small chest and it'll be easy for me to not be tempted_.'

Oh how Ichigo wished that he hadn't mentioned her chest, because as soon as his eyes roamed over her chest, he could see her nipples straining against one of Chappy's ears on the shirt.

_'What the hell, why isn't she wearing a jacket in this cool weather and what kind of bra is she wearing? Is she even wearing a bra, oh damn I shouldn't have thought about that._' Ichigo felt his pants getting tighten slightly from the release he didn't achieve earlier.

_'Focus Ichigo! Think about your father in that shirt, yep that did it.'_

As if on cue, the busty woman from earlier came sauntering down the stairs. Coming closer, she saw Rukia who had been hidden by his large frame. She frowned slightly and possessively put her arms around Ichigo.

"Ichigo...can I come tomorrow?" nibbling on his earlobe she whispered seductively while throwing a glare at Rukia.

Rukia stiffened for a moment seeing her or rather seeing her ideal Sensei being embraced by a busty whore, she felt like slapping her for touching something as pure as Kurosaki sensei. Before she could answer the woman's glare with a deathly one of her own, Ichigo unwrapped her arms from around his neck, looking at his eyes ablaze, he told her in an angry but cold voice, "I thought I wanted you out of here in five minutes.

His look made the woman shudder, but she recovered quickly before smiling innocently and sweetly at him, "but we didn't finish." She moved to kiss him, but he was clearly angry now.

"Get out now, I have to do real work now." His voice even made Rukia shiver, the woman retreated back in fear going out of the house, she turned around and smiled nervously before stepping over the threshold.

"I'm sorry, call me whenever you are done. I'll wait for your call." She looked so pathetic at that moment, Rukia felt sorry for her, she had softened towards her somewhat because of her treatment. Nonetheless, Rukia was glad, no ecstatic, she would be with her Kurosaki sama for six months and she was sure going to make sure he fell in love with her before then. She'll have to make sure no other woman would come near him. Rukia smiled to herself and was recalled out of her little reverie when Ichigo called to her.

"Let's get down the rules Rukia. I work my assistants very hard, especially now since I have to do two picture books in six months. You'll basically not have any social life, you'll be spending most of your time here helping me, sometimes very late into the night and again very early in the morning. Your tasks are not just limited to helping me with drawing or writing, you also have to run errands for me, get me coffee, food or show up some public events in my stead. You'll also perform the duties of a secretary sometimes, taking calls and making appointments. Is this all clear, I don't want to hear any whining or complaining later?" His long speech was boring that Rukia had tuned out when he had said she'd be spending most of her time with him sometimes very late into night. That alone made her get goosebumps all over, she smirked to herself, she didn't even notice when he had finished until she saw him staring at her in expectation of an answer.

She simply nodded her head.

"Good, so we start now. Let's go to my work studio." Ichigo lead the way to his cramped room that was littered with loose paper, paper balls, pens all over the floor and some random writing and drawings all over the walls. It looked like a room of a kid, is this how her Kurosaki sama got into his working mojo, by acting like a kid? Rukia wondered...

"You can start working now, clean up a small area to make work space for you. Don't bother me when I'm working and don't throw anything away without asking me." He said coldly and promptly went to his work station.

Rukia stood in the middle of the room lost, wondering how is she supposed to ask him without bothering him, she looked at Ichigo working away diligently and went to an area near his desk to start making it her working area.

This first day of work was not what she had expected, but she had no time to reflect on it, instead she has to concentrate on the tasks at hand first.

Ichigo on the other hand was aggravated further when he saw his blond fuck friend go out of the door, because it was his last fuck going out for the next six months and it was going to be hell.

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><p>Let me know what you think of it so far, hopefully I'll be able to interject more humor into it and definitely pick up the pace.<p> 


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